A Dish Best Served Cold, Part I, Pate

Wayne Manor, evening. As the sun begins to set over the manor, Damian Wayne sits in an armchair in the study, glowering. He's in a suit, tie, and red converse sneakers.

Damian: Why do we have to do this stupid party to honor Kane?

Alfred turns from his last minute dusting

Alfred: Master Damian, your father wants to introduce Master Joseph to Gotham society. Master Joseph is of your family's social class; and despite the fact he may be subserviant to your father in work matters, he is close to being your father's equal in society. And his family is known in New York society. It's a matter of propriety.

Damian: But why now? My favorite show is on tonight...

Alfred: Because in between settling into a new city, new jobs, and your little escapade with Master Wilkes against your mother, Masters Joseph and Sam haven't had a chance to be introduced nor was there time to organize.

Dick, in a tuxedo, enters the room

Dick: And I wanted to be here to give Joseph moral support. *cartwheels and flips onto the couch* He always hated society gatherings.

Damian: Because he was a sickly kid and was always told "Oh, you are so peaked"?

Dick: Because even then he could tell who wanted to stick a metaphorical knife into the backs of who they were talking too. *to Alfred* Where is he?

Alfred: Down below, trying to do some last minute work for Master Bruce.

Dick: And Bruce?

We have a quick cutaway to Batman taking down some thugs

Alfred: *narrating* He just got back from some last minute exercise

Dick: *checking his watch* He's going to cut it close. We got half an hour before the party starts.

Joseph enters the study in his own tux

Joseph: And he's still doing a quick workout....

Alfred: Will he be wanting the cummerbund, the vest, or the bandages for his formal wear?

Joseph: Numbers two and three *turns to Dick* Is he like this for every party he throws?

Dick: He always likes to make a late entrance.

Joseph: But he's the host.

Dick: Well, that's why I'm also here, to give some excuses, a little innuendo...

Damian: Grayson, you never stop with innuendo...

Sam pokes his head into the study.

Sam: Joey?

He walks in wearing his own little tuxedo, holding out his bowtie

Sam: I'm having trouble.

Joseph kneels down to tie the bowtie

Dick: Well, Sam, you're going to attract all the ladies looking that adorable

Sam: *nervous* You really think so?

Damian: >TT< They'll be to busy looking at perfection.

Sam glares at Damian

Dick: Which is why they will all be looking at me.

Joseph: Oh look, he's modest.

Dick: Hey, can't help it if the ladies like me. It's called confidence, Joseph.

Joseph: You are also a shameless flirt, even when you have a date.

Dick frowns

Dick: Babs isn't coming?

Joseph: She's patrolling tonight, and she's still a bit pissed about your last date...

Dick: I'm never going to live it down....

Bruce: *off panel* Well tonight isn't about you, Dick.

Bruce stands by the hidden entrance, in his tux without tie or jacket

Bruce: This is Joseph's night to build some business ties.

Alfred: So I assume you took the Batwing instead of the car?

Bruce: Quicker that way. Been back for an hour

Dick turns to Joseph

Dick: Did you give him first aid

Joseph: I tried but he said I shouldn't get blood on my tux.

Alfred: *sighing* Why do I have a feeling between canapes and cocktails I will be doing stitches....

Elsewhere, a group of heavily armored thugs gather around a desk. The man sitting at the desk is smoking a cigarette. We don't see his face, but we see the reflection of his glasses.

Man: I have given you his orders. You know what do do.

Thug Captain: Take the usurper who took what is rightfully his

Thug 1: Destroy those who would protect him

Thug 2: Raid the palace where he will be

Thug 3: Kill those who would dare oppose his will

Man: Good. May you do his work well tonight.

Meanwhile, at Wayne Manor, the party is in full swing

Bruce: Joseph, this is Mayor Hady

Joseph: *shaking hands* Pleasure to meet you

Mayor Hady: I have high hopes for you, young man. Bruce says you got some great ideas. Oh, there is Councilman Hill, I must say hello.

The mayor heads over

Joseph: You always have corrupt politicians over?

Bruce: Only for social gatherings. I usually give more to his opposition when it comes to campaign contributions.

Joseph: Clever.

Penguin: *off panel* EXCUSE ME!

Bruce and Joseph turn to see Oswald Cobblepott, the Penguin, yelling at a waiter

Penguin: I asked for my drink half an hour ago! Where is it?

Waiter: Sir, it's an open bar, you could....

Penguin: You are a waiter; I place an order, you get it. You wouldn't last one day at the Iceberg Casino or the Lounge!

Joseph's hand tightens. Bruce notices this.

Bruce: Joseph.

Joseph: It's nothing. Why is HE here?

Bruce: I don't know, he was not invited. *narrating, cue flashback* And for good reason. The last time Joseph was here in Gotham as a boy, Penguin kidnapped him and held him for ransom. Dick and I saved Joseph, but Penguin shot him in the shoulder while Joseph was trying to escape. Cobblepott never spent a day in jail due to lack of evidence. Reading that sent Joseph down the path of becoming a hero; because if someone could nearly kill the son of a powerful man and get away with it, who would be safe?

Bruce walks over to Penguin

Bruce: Cobblepott...

Penguin: Oh, hello, Wayne. The catering service you hired for tonight is lacking.

Bruce is having trouble keeping "the mask" up

Bruce: I would like you to leave....

Penguin: But I'm a guest--

Bruce: You were not invited--

Penguin: Of the mayor. The perk of being finance chairman of his reelection committee. Excuse me.

Penguin heads off. Meanwhile, Damian is being surrounded by society women and basking in the attention

Society Lady 1: Oh, he is so handsome

Society Lady 2: Like his father--

Society Lady 3: And big brother

Damian: *enjoying it* >TT<

Society Lady 1: Damian, you're going to grow up to be a ladykiller

Sam then walks down the stairs. All the women turn

Society Lady 3: Oh who is this cutie?

They rush over to Sam, who starts looking panicky. Damian looks pissed as he's no longer the focal point of attention.

Society Lady 1: He must be Joseph Kane's little brother

Society Lady 2: He's so adorable with his little bowtie

Society Lady 3: I just want to pinch his cheeks *does so*

Sam looks like he's going to cry in fear

Dick: *off panel* Excuse me, ladies....

The women turn towards Dick

Society Lady 2: Hello handsome, long time no see

Society Lady 1: I swear you get better looking every time.

Dick: I'll just take Sam off your hands. *picks Sam up* Let's get some food, okay sport.

Sam: Okay.

Ladies: Awww. *turn back to Damian*

Damian: Where were we?

The ladies return their attentions to Damian as Dick and Sam walk away

Sam: Thank you for rescuing me, I thought they were going to eat me.

Dick: Literally or metaphorically

Sam: I don't know....

While Sam is loading up his plate, Dick sees Joseph at the bar, nursing a drink. He walks over.

Dick: Good thing that's ginger ale; wouldn't be seemly for you being underage and the star of the evening to get alcohol.

Joseph: Trust me, I could use something stronger.

Dick: Why?

Joseph points at Penguin, who is hobnobbing with some politicians

Joseph: Him. The mayor brought him.

Dick: You must have a ball of anger in your stomach right now.

Joseph: He's schmoozing, using his connections to build his legitimate power. They ignore his crimes, the blood on his hands....

Dick: He's probably blackmailing some--

Joseph: Don't care *chugs* He shouldn't be here.

Dick: Don't tell me you're going to go over there and give him a piece of your mind.

Joseph: Unfortunately, I have to smile and be nice.

Dick sees Penguin walking towards them

Dick: Well, time to smile.

Joseph puts on the biggest smile he could do without looking fake

Joseph: Mister Cobblepott

Penguin: Doctor Kane, welcome to Gotham. I'm sorry, but have we met, your name sounded familiar.

Joseph's smile takes on a strained edge

Dick: *narrating* Penguin doesn't even remember what he did. Not good. Joseph, keep it together.

Joseph: You might know my family's name, Mister Cobblepott. Plus I have distant relatives who have lived and live in this city.

He and Penguin shake hands. But the reader can see Joseph's grip is particularly tight

Penguin: Some handshake you have there, Doctor. *removes hand* Good evening

As Penguin walks away, he rubs his hand.

Dick: Better?

Joseph: No. *sighs* How can this get worse

At this moment, the heavily armed thugs storm through the windows and point weapons at the guests

Thug Captain: Ladies and Gentleman, we would like your attention.

The thugs surround the guests. Alfred approaches them

Alfred: I would like you to leave before I--

BANG! One of the thugs shoots Alfred. Everyone stares in horror, but especially Bruce.

Sam: Alfred!

Dick: Oh no.

Bruce: *narrating* Don't lose the mask. Don't lose the mask. *starts sneaking away* Get to the Cave, then lose it.

In the meanwhile Joseph has taken off his coat and is applying it to Alfred's wound

Alfred: Sir, you are ruining your tuxedo

Joseph: I can get a new one; Bruce can't replace you that easily.

Dick slowly sneaks off.

Dick: *narrating* Hope you got a plan, Bruce, because I'm going to be a part of it.

Sam is weeping, Damian is looking puzzled.

Damian: Why are you crying?

Sam: Because Alfred is hurt! He could die!

Damian: He's had worse things happen to him.

Damian looks around

Damian: *narrating* Oh great, I'm going to be left out...no way I can sneak off to the Cave now! Now I can't impress people here as Robin.

As Bruce walks to the study, he sneaks up on a thug placed on guard duty in the hall and wrenches his arm out of his socket before punching him unconscious. He hears a scuffle, moves to investigate and sees Dick flipping a thug into the garden from a balcony.

Bruce: Damian?

Dick: Stuck comforting Sam.

Bruce: You say that like its a bad thing.

Dick: For Sam, yeah. Got a plan?

Bruce: Find out who they are working for. *the mask drops* And send the scum to Blackgate in casts.

Dick: *narrating, looking worried* Keep it together, Bruce....

Meanwhile, back where the hostages are, Penguin is on a walkie talkie

Penguin: Where are you fools, we are under attack here!

Joseph: Trouble?

Penguin: My security team isn't responding

The waiter who Penguin harassed earlier smirks

Waiter: Just can't get good help these days.

Penguin shoots him a look of anger. The thug captain walks over

Thug Captain: Your men will not help you, Betrayer; they are dead.

Penguin: Dead?! And what do you mean Betrayer?

Thug 5: Usurper

Thug 6: Unrightful ruler

Thug 7: The Unworthy

Damian: 1. Unrightful is NOT a word. 2. It just HAD to be about him....

Penguin: These men are crazy, I'm a legitimate businessman.

Damian laughs, Joseph chuckles.

Penguin: What's so funny?

Joseph: Personal joke, nothing. *dramatically clutches his shoulder* I know how Alfred feels, this change in the weather is making my old shoulder wound flare up.

Penguin looks oblivious to that. He glares at the thug captain

Penguin: You won't kill me. And I will have your guts for garters. I'll even ignore what that fool waiter said to me; I will find your boss and have him punished.

The thug captain points his gun at Penguin's head

Thug Captain: Best wishes from--

At this point, Batman and Nightwing crash though a skylight

Nightwing: *narrating* It always feels so weird to be defending someone who'd kill us for an anchovy sandwich

Batman: *narrating* Better do this quick so we can take care of Alfred. Hopefully we can find out who is responsible for this.

Nightwing flips down and kicks two thugs in the face. Batman lands and throws a batarang to knock the gun from the captain's hand. Nightwing opens a patio door

Nightwing: EVERYONE OUT!

Joseph and Damian support Alfred, with Sam close behind, as the hostages run out. Penguin, however, sneaks off in a different route. Nightwing leaps back into battle, delivering a kick to the head of another thug. Batman flips one thug to the floor and then launches a taser to the chests of a few more.

Nightwing: *narrating* Good, he's in control.

Nightwing activates the stun setting of his eskrima sticks and lays several blows on the heads of the thugs. One thug runs off. Nightwing shakes his head as he focuses on the others. Batman, in the meanwhile, focuses on the captain.

Batman: *narrating* Who is targeting Penguin? Is this some underworld vendetta. *observes the captain, narrating* He's obviously local. He's also a brawler, a Venom user too, just the street kind, not enough to be like Bane.

Batman and the captain exchange blows. Batman delivers several hard blows; but the thug is faster than Batman thinks and delivers a blow to his chest.

Batman: *narrating* Faster than I thought. He's also too coordinated. *focuses on the beret the captain is wearing* Someone could be using Mad Hatter's technology to make him into a more tactical fighter...but what they said doesn't fit Tetch's MO. A psionic suggestion from Black Mask?

They exchange several more blows. They are more than a match for each other. Nightwing in the meanwhile is taking on the rest of the thugs, who are scarring the grand hall of Wayne Manor with bullets.

Batman: *narrating* Not exact either. Probably a blend of technology. Who is it?

The captain charges

Batman: Time to end this

Batman open palm strikes each side of the captain's head and then cross chops him to knock him out. Nightwing also finishes up.

Batman: Get them all?

Nightwing: One ran off, I think he ran towards....

We cut to where the thug is running

Nightwing: *narrating* The garden

As the thug runs, he is shot in the back by Penguin's umbrella. Penguin turns him over and jabs the point of the umbrella into the thug's groin.

Penguin: Who sent you?

Injured Thug: I won't betray him or the master!

Penguin: Who?

Injured Thug: The true Emperor!

Penguin's eyes go wide...BANG! Batman and Nightwing arrive a few seconds later.

Batman: What happened?

Penguin: He tried to kill me, I protected myself. Good evening, Batman.

Penguin begins to walk off.

Batman: Did he say who sent the attack?

Penguin: No...

Penguin leaves. Nightwing kneels down to examine the body. He sees something on the wrist.

Nightwing: Huh...Batman, look at this.

They see a tattoo: a black gate in front of a quarter circle...

Later, in the Batcave, Joseph is taking care of Alfred

Alfred: Master Joseph, I'm quite alr--

Joseph: Alfred, you were shot, you need rest. A couple days on your back won't kill you. And at your age--

Alfred: Age is a state of mind, Master Joseph--

Joseph: You need more time to heal. I'll get Bruce to hire a temporary cleaning crew you can boss around.

Alfred: They will not be up to my standards

Joseph: Alfred, they broke the mold with you.

Joseph heads over to the computer where Batman, Nightwing, and Damian are sitting.

Joseph: He'll need a few days of rest and another blood transfusion, but Alfred will make it.

Nightwing: He's going to hate the fact Bruce is going to need outside help during the days for a while.

Damian: Does this mean he won't be cooking?

Joseph: I'll step in for now...

Damian: At least I know you won't accidentally poison us like Grayson.

Nightwing: Hey! And I'm staying around for a few days just to help Alfred.

Batman: How's Sam?

Joseph: Sleeping, I'll talk to him more in the morning. Got any leads?

Batman: The black gate tattoo made things easy; all the men here were imprisoned at Blackgate Prison; all recently released on parole.

Joseph: What about the other part?

Batman: That's what we're trying to figure out. Some have quarter circles, half circles, whole circles, lines...

Joseph: Maybe rank in whatever organization they belong to?

Damian: >TT< Like its that easy.

Batman: It's possible. It seems it's related to a clock.

Nightwing: Clock?

Batman: Or the passage of time. Joseph, I want you to look at the prison records to see if you can find a pattern. Damian, suit up.

Nightwing: Bruce, it will be dawn in a few hours, where are you going?

Batman: To get some answers from Cobblepott. I know he's hiding something....

Meanwhile, at Blackgate Prison, the man in the glasses we saw earlier is on one side of the glass. He has a stern face, a grey suit, and a bowler hat. He checks his pocket watch

Temple Fugate: In twenty minutes, sir, the parole board will summon you for a hearing. They accepted my offer; they just want to do a final interview.

Client: What about the attack?

Temple Fugate: Went as I imagined. Both you and I knew they would lose, even with street Venom in their veins to make them stronger and modified Hatter material in their armor to make them smarter.

Client: We should have given them the same stuff I used on myself.

Temple Fugate: But the message was received. Cobblepott doubled up on security when he got home. The plan is set in motion, sir.

We then see Fugate's client is Ignatius Oglivy, aka Emperor Blackgate. Formerly Penguin's right hand man, he staged a coup and took over Penguin's crime empire. He then turned himself into a metahuman monster (see Detective Comics #20). He grins

Emperor Blackgate: Good, here's to our mutual revenge, Fugate.