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Literature Text
I.
Time: Before the Jason v Joseph Arc
Batman is watching an underground fight ring from the rafters of a disused warehouse.
Batman: *narrating* Been tracking down these fighting rings for the last five weeks. No criminal connection as of yet, but I know that several of Gotham's gangs are using them as "recruitment centers" for their foot soldiers. Need to shut them down as soon as I can...
A young man below with gelled black hair and tribal tats is taking down a much larger opponent. We don't see his face.
Batman: *narrating* Hrm, that one...a little course but has style. Has skill, and has some training at least. Could be useful as an informant. Wait....
Batman watches as the young man's spin kick hits the larger man right in the stomach. Again we don't see his face.
Batman: *narrating* I know that kick....
BAM! The doors to the warehouse bang open and numerous bikes roar in. It's The Kings Of The Sun bike gang (see the present arc of Detective Comics (as of 7/14/14)). Their leader gets off his bike and walks over to the young man, who is standing over his opponent. His face is in shadow.
KOTS Leader: Hmm, seems we got a contender. Say, boy, how about joining up with us.
The young man turns. Even in disguise, we can see it's Joseph Kane.
Joseph: No thanks.
KOTS Leader: We're giving you an honor.
Joseph: Look, I just come here to blow off steam after a long week. My boss is on my case all the time....
KOTS Leader: So quit and join us. More money and pussy then you imagine.
Joseph: *sniffing* And less hygiene.
The leader takes out a knife
KOTS Leader: Why you--
Joseph: Let me guess, you're going to "teach me a lesson?"
Batman: *narrating* Stupid, arrogant, little--
The KOTS leader charges, Joseph puts him into an arm lock, forces him to drop the knife, and then he breaks the KOTS Leader's arm.
KOTS Leader: Kill him!
Batman then descends to the floor and puts himself between Joseph and the KOTS gang. The other fighters flee for their lives.
Joseph: Umm...I can explain.
Batman: Shut up.
KOTS Leader: Aww, is the big bad bats protecting his new Robin? What happened to the midget?
Joseph: I'm not Robin *under his breath* To be that I'd have training
Batman: Shut up--
The gang surrounds the two
Batman: --And help me clean up your mess.
Joseph: I don't need help.
Batman: Yes you do.
Joseph: Says the man in the Bat-suit.
The fight begins. It's a brutal, bone crunching, bloody fight. Joseph fares worse than Batman, though he's more than capable of taking down gang members. He does get a nasty gash on his cheek. Batman takes down the biggest bruiser single handily. They are soon surrounded by unconscious thugs. Batman turns to Joseph and glares. Joseph looks very sheepish. We cut to the Batcave where Alfred is treating Joseph's injuries.
Joseph: OW! OW! OW!
Alfred: It would hurt less if you didn't keep flinching. *turns to Batman* And it would help if you weren't trying to give him your "penance stare". He probably feels guilty enough already.
Joseph: What I do on my nights off is MY business!
Batman: You were interfering with my investigation.
Joseph: No, I was blowing off steam. I just happen to do it in a fashion that seemed to coincide with your investigation.
Batman: You're lying.
Joseph pushes away Alfred's hand and stands up.
Joseph: You think I'm that stupid to investigate your cases? No, I needed to deal with the stress from working for you, Nosferatu; and punching a heavy bag doesn't exactly work all the time. I needed to feel danger, I needed a challenge. *points at Alfred* Besides, it was his idea.
Batman turns his attention to Alfred.
Alfred: We looked into those fight clubs and Master Joseph figured out an algorithm to discover which ones were gang related. The one he went to tonight was supposed to be safe.
Batman: And why the hair dye and fake tattoos?
Joseph: Because I didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb in front of a bunch of law abiding dock workers and bored frat boys!
Batman: You still disobeyed my orders to--
Joseph: Bruce, I wasn't investigating your damn case; that Kings of the Sun were supposed to be hitting another fight club for new blood tonight--
Batman: Wait, you said you figured out an algorithm?
Joseph: Yeah, though tonight shows its not 100% accurate....
Joseph brings up a map of Gotham; different colored circles pop all around it. Some of the circles have the faces/symbols of villains.
Alfred: Oh my, there seems to be a lot more of these fight clubs than I thought.
Joseph: That's because MMA has gotten so popular. Now white spots are the clean fight clubs; they might be shady but they still stay within the confines of the law. White with gold stripes are places like MMA gyms, organized tournaments, etc.
Batman: And the colors are the various gangs or clubs targeted by them.
Joseph: Yeah. As you can see (points to a KOTS symbol) they were supposed to be targeting this one on the other side of the harbor.
Batman: And your algorithm didn't account for a change of plans.
Joseph: It was based on their previous movements....
Batman: You can't always rely on past data, Joseph; you got a lot to learn--
Joseph: When do we start?
Batman: --When you earn training. Be glad you aren't take a step back on that path tonight. You might be innocent in this, Joseph; but you still almost lost some of my trust. Now let Alfred sew you up and hit the showers. *heads to the bike* I'm uploading your alogrithm to my cowl computer; might end up being of use. So good work with that.
Batman rides off.
Joseph: I don't know what scares me more; everything before he left, or his praise just now.
Alfred: Now hold still, we don't want you to have a scar....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
II.
Time: During Joseph's training
Joseph squares off against Dick in the fight ring in the Batcave. Bruce watches, as does Tim, Damian, and Sam. Both young men are wielding eskrima sticks. Joseph is wearing a tank top and shorts, Dick is shirtless and wearing athletic pants. Bruce is wearing a tank top and athletic pants. Tim is wearing a tank top and shorts. Damian is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Sam, as he's not training, is wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts. He's also the only one wearing socks and shoes. Alfred stands in the background, at the ready.
Joseph and Dick go at it with the eskrima sticks. While Joseph has recovered from his injuries at the hands of Jason Todd and has undergone "physical therapy from hell", he's still pretty much a raw beginner all over again. While he blocks several of Dick's moves, Joseph still gets several blows to the chest. He flips to the side to avoid a thrust by Dick, only to be kicked by Dick. Joseph blocks a blow that was going for his head; he then starts going for the offensive, trying to copy Dick's style. He gets clobbered for his pains and ends up on the floor. Dick helps him up.
Dick: Good fight?
Joseph: Good? You clobbered me!
Dick: Yeah, remember you were still an invalid three months ago, and 3 weeks ago you didn't last a minute. Today you lasted five.
Joseph: *dryly* "Improvement", huh?
Damian: >TT< You have a LONG way to go, Kane!
Sam: Be nice! Joey's been working hard! *turns to Bruce* Right?
Bruce: Yes.
Damian: Not hard enough!
Sam: Says you!
The two boys glare at each other.
Bruce: Enough! Joseph's worked as hard as everyone here. Joseph, take five minutes and then you and Tim will spar with bo staves.
Joseph sits down and takes a sip of water. Meanwhile, the two boys are glaring at each other.
Sam: See, your dad said I was right!
Damian: Father was lying.
Sam: Was not!
Damian: Was too!
Dick steps between the two boys before a fight starts.
Dick: Okay you two, knock it off. Joseph's probably had to train harder than either of us, Damian; and that was BEFORE he was a hero in New York. Now he's undergoing even harder training while undergoing PT at the same time. So be nice.
Damian: >TT<
Bruce heads over to Joseph.
Bruce: You're thinking about the spar with Dick.
Joseph: Why do I have to learn eskrima? Or bo? They're not my weapon of choice.
Bruce: I know. Your weapon is a baton-like club that you used like a sword.
Joseph: Well it worked for me.
Bruce: Not well enough. Learning other weapon skills will improve your skill with your weapon of choice, which you will have to relearn eventually. And I noticed you were trying to copy Dick's style.
Joseph: Yeah, so? It's his specialty.
Bruce: Exactly, and its his style. Don't try to copy someone else's fighting style, forge your own. So when you and Tim go up against each other in a bit; don't try to copy him, just get a feel for your own fighting style with the bo.
Joseph: Yes, Master Kenobi....
Bruce: And I'm adding 50 push ups for the back chat. Tim, you're up!
Tim passes Joseph a bo staff.
Bruce: The goal here is to survive three minutes against Tim. And...BEGIN!
The fight begins. Joseph is having a hard time against Tim, especially compared to his fight with Dick. But he soon finds a rhythm and his center. He begins blocking Tim's moves. Soon he finds an opening and thrusts his bo staff forward. When Bruce shouts, the end of Joseph's Bo is right in Tim's face.
Bruce: TIME! Very good, Joseph, seems you took the lesson to heart.
Tim: I was holding back.
Dick: Sure you were....
Damian takes the staff from Tim.
Damian: Out of the way, Drake, I'll show you how to beat this novice.
Joseph turns to Bruce, who is facepalming.
Bruce: Make it quick.
Damian: Yes, father.
Damian charges....Joseph sighs and adjusts his staff so Damian trips. Unfortunately for Damian, when he falls, his own bo staff hits him in the groin. Everyone except for Bruce and Alfred break into laughter. Bruce does crack a smile as Alfred struggles to keep that stiff upper lip. Damian turns to Tim.
Damian: *squeaky voice* Curse you, Drake!
Tim: It was your overconfidence, not my staff. This just shows you that Joseph is far more capable than you think he is.
Dick: And to be fair, Joseph probably could beat me in a test of "the art of slapstick"
Joseph: True, but you'd be a convenient patsy!
Bruce: Joseph, pushups and situps now. Dick, go help Damian.
Dick picks up Damian, who struggles. As they walk past, Sam giggles.
Damian: *squeaky voice* Oh screw you, Sam.
Sam: At least I don't sound like I drank helium.
Joseph looks up from his pushups
Joseph: You are a tad squeaky though.
Sam: I'm nine!
Joseph: And thus you have a reason to be.
Both Kanes snicker at that.
Bruce: 50 more pushups and 100 more sit ups added for that.
Joseph: *sigh* Might as well make it more challenging. Sam?
Sam: On it?
Bruce watches as Joseph does his push ups with Sam on his back. In the background, Dick and Tim try to mollify Damian.
Time: Before the Jason v Joseph Arc
Batman is watching an underground fight ring from the rafters of a disused warehouse.
Batman: *narrating* Been tracking down these fighting rings for the last five weeks. No criminal connection as of yet, but I know that several of Gotham's gangs are using them as "recruitment centers" for their foot soldiers. Need to shut them down as soon as I can...
A young man below with gelled black hair and tribal tats is taking down a much larger opponent. We don't see his face.
Batman: *narrating* Hrm, that one...a little course but has style. Has skill, and has some training at least. Could be useful as an informant. Wait....
Batman watches as the young man's spin kick hits the larger man right in the stomach. Again we don't see his face.
Batman: *narrating* I know that kick....
BAM! The doors to the warehouse bang open and numerous bikes roar in. It's The Kings Of The Sun bike gang (see the present arc of Detective Comics (as of 7/14/14)). Their leader gets off his bike and walks over to the young man, who is standing over his opponent. His face is in shadow.
KOTS Leader: Hmm, seems we got a contender. Say, boy, how about joining up with us.
The young man turns. Even in disguise, we can see it's Joseph Kane.
Joseph: No thanks.
KOTS Leader: We're giving you an honor.
Joseph: Look, I just come here to blow off steam after a long week. My boss is on my case all the time....
KOTS Leader: So quit and join us. More money and pussy then you imagine.
Joseph: *sniffing* And less hygiene.
The leader takes out a knife
KOTS Leader: Why you--
Joseph: Let me guess, you're going to "teach me a lesson?"
Batman: *narrating* Stupid, arrogant, little--
The KOTS leader charges, Joseph puts him into an arm lock, forces him to drop the knife, and then he breaks the KOTS Leader's arm.
KOTS Leader: Kill him!
Batman then descends to the floor and puts himself between Joseph and the KOTS gang. The other fighters flee for their lives.
Joseph: Umm...I can explain.
Batman: Shut up.
KOTS Leader: Aww, is the big bad bats protecting his new Robin? What happened to the midget?
Joseph: I'm not Robin *under his breath* To be that I'd have training
Batman: Shut up--
The gang surrounds the two
Batman: --And help me clean up your mess.
Joseph: I don't need help.
Batman: Yes you do.
Joseph: Says the man in the Bat-suit.
The fight begins. It's a brutal, bone crunching, bloody fight. Joseph fares worse than Batman, though he's more than capable of taking down gang members. He does get a nasty gash on his cheek. Batman takes down the biggest bruiser single handily. They are soon surrounded by unconscious thugs. Batman turns to Joseph and glares. Joseph looks very sheepish. We cut to the Batcave where Alfred is treating Joseph's injuries.
Joseph: OW! OW! OW!
Alfred: It would hurt less if you didn't keep flinching. *turns to Batman* And it would help if you weren't trying to give him your "penance stare". He probably feels guilty enough already.
Joseph: What I do on my nights off is MY business!
Batman: You were interfering with my investigation.
Joseph: No, I was blowing off steam. I just happen to do it in a fashion that seemed to coincide with your investigation.
Batman: You're lying.
Joseph pushes away Alfred's hand and stands up.
Joseph: You think I'm that stupid to investigate your cases? No, I needed to deal with the stress from working for you, Nosferatu; and punching a heavy bag doesn't exactly work all the time. I needed to feel danger, I needed a challenge. *points at Alfred* Besides, it was his idea.
Batman turns his attention to Alfred.
Alfred: We looked into those fight clubs and Master Joseph figured out an algorithm to discover which ones were gang related. The one he went to tonight was supposed to be safe.
Batman: And why the hair dye and fake tattoos?
Joseph: Because I didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb in front of a bunch of law abiding dock workers and bored frat boys!
Batman: You still disobeyed my orders to--
Joseph: Bruce, I wasn't investigating your damn case; that Kings of the Sun were supposed to be hitting another fight club for new blood tonight--
Batman: Wait, you said you figured out an algorithm?
Joseph: Yeah, though tonight shows its not 100% accurate....
Joseph brings up a map of Gotham; different colored circles pop all around it. Some of the circles have the faces/symbols of villains.
Alfred: Oh my, there seems to be a lot more of these fight clubs than I thought.
Joseph: That's because MMA has gotten so popular. Now white spots are the clean fight clubs; they might be shady but they still stay within the confines of the law. White with gold stripes are places like MMA gyms, organized tournaments, etc.
Batman: And the colors are the various gangs or clubs targeted by them.
Joseph: Yeah. As you can see (points to a KOTS symbol) they were supposed to be targeting this one on the other side of the harbor.
Batman: And your algorithm didn't account for a change of plans.
Joseph: It was based on their previous movements....
Batman: You can't always rely on past data, Joseph; you got a lot to learn--
Joseph: When do we start?
Batman: --When you earn training. Be glad you aren't take a step back on that path tonight. You might be innocent in this, Joseph; but you still almost lost some of my trust. Now let Alfred sew you up and hit the showers. *heads to the bike* I'm uploading your alogrithm to my cowl computer; might end up being of use. So good work with that.
Batman rides off.
Joseph: I don't know what scares me more; everything before he left, or his praise just now.
Alfred: Now hold still, we don't want you to have a scar....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
II.
Time: During Joseph's training
Joseph squares off against Dick in the fight ring in the Batcave. Bruce watches, as does Tim, Damian, and Sam. Both young men are wielding eskrima sticks. Joseph is wearing a tank top and shorts, Dick is shirtless and wearing athletic pants. Bruce is wearing a tank top and athletic pants. Tim is wearing a tank top and shorts. Damian is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Sam, as he's not training, is wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts. He's also the only one wearing socks and shoes. Alfred stands in the background, at the ready.
Joseph and Dick go at it with the eskrima sticks. While Joseph has recovered from his injuries at the hands of Jason Todd and has undergone "physical therapy from hell", he's still pretty much a raw beginner all over again. While he blocks several of Dick's moves, Joseph still gets several blows to the chest. He flips to the side to avoid a thrust by Dick, only to be kicked by Dick. Joseph blocks a blow that was going for his head; he then starts going for the offensive, trying to copy Dick's style. He gets clobbered for his pains and ends up on the floor. Dick helps him up.
Dick: Good fight?
Joseph: Good? You clobbered me!
Dick: Yeah, remember you were still an invalid three months ago, and 3 weeks ago you didn't last a minute. Today you lasted five.
Joseph: *dryly* "Improvement", huh?
Damian: >TT< You have a LONG way to go, Kane!
Sam: Be nice! Joey's been working hard! *turns to Bruce* Right?
Bruce: Yes.
Damian: Not hard enough!
Sam: Says you!
The two boys glare at each other.
Bruce: Enough! Joseph's worked as hard as everyone here. Joseph, take five minutes and then you and Tim will spar with bo staves.
Joseph sits down and takes a sip of water. Meanwhile, the two boys are glaring at each other.
Sam: See, your dad said I was right!
Damian: Father was lying.
Sam: Was not!
Damian: Was too!
Dick steps between the two boys before a fight starts.
Dick: Okay you two, knock it off. Joseph's probably had to train harder than either of us, Damian; and that was BEFORE he was a hero in New York. Now he's undergoing even harder training while undergoing PT at the same time. So be nice.
Damian: >TT<
Bruce heads over to Joseph.
Bruce: You're thinking about the spar with Dick.
Joseph: Why do I have to learn eskrima? Or bo? They're not my weapon of choice.
Bruce: I know. Your weapon is a baton-like club that you used like a sword.
Joseph: Well it worked for me.
Bruce: Not well enough. Learning other weapon skills will improve your skill with your weapon of choice, which you will have to relearn eventually. And I noticed you were trying to copy Dick's style.
Joseph: Yeah, so? It's his specialty.
Bruce: Exactly, and its his style. Don't try to copy someone else's fighting style, forge your own. So when you and Tim go up against each other in a bit; don't try to copy him, just get a feel for your own fighting style with the bo.
Joseph: Yes, Master Kenobi....
Bruce: And I'm adding 50 push ups for the back chat. Tim, you're up!
Tim passes Joseph a bo staff.
Bruce: The goal here is to survive three minutes against Tim. And...BEGIN!
The fight begins. Joseph is having a hard time against Tim, especially compared to his fight with Dick. But he soon finds a rhythm and his center. He begins blocking Tim's moves. Soon he finds an opening and thrusts his bo staff forward. When Bruce shouts, the end of Joseph's Bo is right in Tim's face.
Bruce: TIME! Very good, Joseph, seems you took the lesson to heart.
Tim: I was holding back.
Dick: Sure you were....
Damian takes the staff from Tim.
Damian: Out of the way, Drake, I'll show you how to beat this novice.
Joseph turns to Bruce, who is facepalming.
Bruce: Make it quick.
Damian: Yes, father.
Damian charges....Joseph sighs and adjusts his staff so Damian trips. Unfortunately for Damian, when he falls, his own bo staff hits him in the groin. Everyone except for Bruce and Alfred break into laughter. Bruce does crack a smile as Alfred struggles to keep that stiff upper lip. Damian turns to Tim.
Damian: *squeaky voice* Curse you, Drake!
Tim: It was your overconfidence, not my staff. This just shows you that Joseph is far more capable than you think he is.
Dick: And to be fair, Joseph probably could beat me in a test of "the art of slapstick"
Joseph: True, but you'd be a convenient patsy!
Bruce: Joseph, pushups and situps now. Dick, go help Damian.
Dick picks up Damian, who struggles. As they walk past, Sam giggles.
Damian: *squeaky voice* Oh screw you, Sam.
Sam: At least I don't sound like I drank helium.
Joseph looks up from his pushups
Joseph: You are a tad squeaky though.
Sam: I'm nine!
Joseph: And thus you have a reason to be.
Both Kanes snicker at that.
Bruce: 50 more pushups and 100 more sit ups added for that.
Joseph: *sigh* Might as well make it more challenging. Sam?
Sam: On it?
Bruce watches as Joseph does his push ups with Sam on his back. In the background, Dick and Tim try to mollify Damian.
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Just a couple stories showing the Mentor/Student relationship between Batman and Joseph.
The first story takes place in what I call the "Early Days", meaning Joseph hasn't earned his training and still hasn't been nearly killed by Jason Todd. It's also a point, in this period, where Joseph does need to blow off steam. Unfortunately he chooses an inconvenient way to do so...
The second story takes place during Joseph's training where Bruce gives him some good advice about fighting style.
Anyone trying to make this a romantic pairing will be hit with a batarang
Leave that kind of thought pattern alone until at LEAST my ideas getting into the comics
Joseph and Sam Kane belong to me, as do these tales.
Batman et al belongs to DC Comics
The first story takes place in what I call the "Early Days", meaning Joseph hasn't earned his training and still hasn't been nearly killed by Jason Todd. It's also a point, in this period, where Joseph does need to blow off steam. Unfortunately he chooses an inconvenient way to do so...
The second story takes place during Joseph's training where Bruce gives him some good advice about fighting style.
Anyone trying to make this a romantic pairing will be hit with a batarang
Leave that kind of thought pattern alone until at LEAST my ideas getting into the comics Joseph and Sam Kane belong to me, as do these tales.
Batman et al belongs to DC Comics
© 2014 - 2024 Dkalban
Comments2
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Overall Vision
Originality Technique ImpactIt's not easy working for batman, the guy doesn't exactly recruit on Craig's list does he? Also I think deep down he doesn't like heroes with superpowers, particularly those with super strength or some such abilities as they have what he's had to train very hard for. Of course the moment they turn arrogant he usually wipes the smile of their faces, good thing arrogance is a trait which dear Joseph seems to have skipped, smart mouth though seems hereditary.
In these two tales we have a nice contrast of progress, one in the early and dark days and one in the ironically less dark days given they do seem to be making definite progress (and all it took for a near death incident, go figure). Slapstick humour is always good even when it's probably inappropriate but hey. Nice to see our underdog Kane pulling through and getting some points. Good show.