My Strange New Friend (A DC Comics Poem)

I have this strange new friend
Her name is Harley Quinn
Who would have thought that an Arkham inmate
Would move here to Brooklyn
I met her at Coney Island at a roller derby game
She was on a team, she cheated to win
She winked at me when she did so, and later asked my name.
"Daniel, Ms. Quinn," I said in fear.
"Call me Harley, everyone does,"
She said, "Now come here.
I haven't been in my old hometown in a long time
And I need a little fun.
I need a tour guide to keep up with me
And I think you're the one."

So we first went to Lady Liberty
A simple task I thought
Harley proceeded to spray paint a smile
We were lucky not to be caught.
Then to the Met, she thought some culture would be nice.
In the Egyptian exhibit, she ran into an old friend.
Selina her name was, she was there to smash and grab
I had a feeling this day would never end.
Two Femme Fatales dragged me to Broadway
They thought a show would help me relax.
They took me to see Spiderman
At least they made a guy fall before the show got the ax.

Then for dinner, Peter Leugers
A steak meal paid in cash
Harley chomped down, I was surprised that I ate
Even more so that it wasn't a dine and dash.
Harley grinned, "I got some money, don't worry,
Plus you're very nice.
You're not like Mr. J, not a looney or crazy,
This meal is worth the price."
Selina went, "Now Harley dear, don't tell me,
You want to date this kid."
"No worries, I just want a friend,
I dunno if he could keep up with my id."

On the way back, a hoodlum attacked
I thought I was going to die!
Harley grinned, pulled out a giant hammer
and said, "This will be fun, that ain't no lie."
Bones were crunched, blood spilled
I think a guy flew into the air.
Selina mauled, but Harley brawled,
As if she had no care.
Later, she dropped me home, and kissed me on the cheek and said,
"Puddin', we're going to be good friends,
But rat me out, and you're dead,"

And that's how I met Harley Quinn
This poem is almost done.
She may be a homicidal maniac
But boy is she a lot of fun!