Snake Eaters, Part I

Sam Kane is sleeping in his bedroom in Wayne Manor. He's curled up under the covers of the big bed, clutching a duck stuffed animal. The duck stuffed animal in question has a blue silk ribbon around its neck, and a downy tuft, a bit like Sam's hair, on top of its head. Barkley sleeps in the corner, lazily dozing on a doggie bed. Other stuffed animals are piled on the bed. His bedroom door opens and a shadow crosses the bed where Sam is sleeping. A tan hand shakes Sam.

Damian: Wake up, Kane!

Sam: *sleepily* huh?

Damian: Wake up!

Sam: Why?

Damian: Time to train.

Sam: What time is it?

Damian: 6:30.

Sam: Go away, I wanna sleep.

Damian: Don't be lazy.

Sam: I don't need to get up....

Damian: Yes you do.

Sam: We don't have tutoring...we got all day.

Damian: You're such a lazy weak wuss.

Sam sits up, yawns, and stretches. The duck is in his hand.

Sam: And you're a meanie, but you don't see me point that out often.

Sam smiles sleepily at that as Damian scowls. Sam lies back down.

Sam: Just another hour....

Damian: >TT< If you don't train....

Damian grabs the duck

Damian: ...You don't get your toys.

Sam: Ferdinand! *scowls* Give me back my duck!

Damian: No, until you train, I'll keep Ferdinand.

We have an extreme closeup of Sam's enraged face. We cut to Bruce and Joseph walking down seperate ends of the hallway.

Joseph: It's too early for this....

Bruce: What's that noise?

Joseph: Did you even sleep?

Bruce: Just got in.

Joseph: Maybe it's Sam playing his videogames too loudly again.....

They open the door, and they see Sam and Damian beating each other with stuffed animals; Ferdinand is tucked under Damian's arm. Barkley is barking in panic.

Sam: GIVE ME BACK FERDINAND RIGHT NOW YOU BIG BULLY!

Damian: Oh like that hurts!

Sam: I'M GONNA BEAT THE EVERLIVING SH--

Bruce: BOYS!

They stop at Bruce's roar, though Sam accidentally hits Damian another time.

Bruce: What happened?

Damian: >TT< I was getting Sam up for training and he didn't want to.

Sam: It's too early.... And then he took Ferdinand away from me!

Bruce: Damian, give the duck back.

Damian: But--

Bruce: Now.

Damian throws the duck into Sam's face.

Damian: Here! Sniveling little--

Bruce: And go to your room.

Damian: But--

Bruce: We will talk about it shortly.

Bruce turns back to where Joseph is comforting Sam. Sam is clutching Ferdinand.

Bruce: He WILL make up for this.

Sam: Why is he so mean...?

Joseph: Well, to be somewhat fair to Damian; he was royally messed up psychologically and socially by his mother.

Sam and Bruce look at Joseph.

Joseph: I said somewhat fair.

Sam: I'm just so...so....

Bruce: Angry?

Sam: Yeah.

Bruce: You have to channel it, Sam.

Sam: How?

Bruce: Well, Dick is coming over....

Sam: He is?

Joseph: Yeah, to help us with that Court of Owls case.

Bruce: I think we can have him train Sam later this morning.

Sam: Really?

Bruce: Yes.

Sam scowls

Sam: I still want Damian punished.

Bruce: Leave that to me.

We cut to Damian's room. Damian actually looks downcast as Bruce rips into him.

Bruce: --behavior unbecoming of a warrior, let alone someone who should know better. He is nine years old and not trained to your level. You should have let him sleep.

Damian: I was doing what you told me to do, to be friendly.

Bruce: Well he certainly didn't see it as such. Because of your shameful behavior, you will be banned from video games for a week, you are grounded for tonight, and when Dick arrives you will WATCH him train Sam to learn how to treat people you want to teach properly.

Damian: Yes, Father.

Bruce walks out as Damian scowls. Later, Damian is still scowling as he watches Sam struggle to do gymnastics under Dick's encouragement. Sam is just hanging from the parallel bars.

Dick: C'mon Sam, just get yourself up to the top of the bar and we'll be done for the morning.

Sam: I'm tired....

Dick: I know. Just try.

Damian: He won't do it, he's too weak.

Sam glares at Damian. He struggles and struggles and finally manages to poke his head over the parallel bars before losing his grip and falling. Dick catches him.

Dick: That was a good try, Sammy.

Damian: But he failed....

Dick puts Sam down and turns to Damian

Dick: But he still tried instead of giving up. That's good. Besides, he needs to build up his strength.

Sam's stomach grumbles

Dick: Sounds like someone's worked up an appetite.

Damian: No, that's how his stomach always is.

Dick: Well Sam, how about I take you out for lunch. Got your brother's permission?

Sam: *smiling* Really?

Dick: Yeah.

Damian: Hey! What about me?

Sam: *witheringly* What about you?

Damian: He's MY brother.

Sam: Well, you're not invited.

Dick: Now, Sam, let's be fair and bring him along. But you get to choose?

Sam: Umm...how about Big Belly Burger?

Damian: You're gonna get fat....

Sam: No I'm not....

Damian: You're already...

Sam: NO I'M NOT!

Sam raises a fist as Damian smirks, Dick steps between.

Dick: Oookay...We will go to Big Belly Burger. And you two better behave.

As Dick, Sam, and Damian are getting ready to go, Joseph and Bruce walk by. The three heading out all have backpacks.

Bruce: The Gotham underworld seems uneasy; seems someone's got a new weapon for sale.

Joseph: Gonna check your contacts?

Bruce: I'll pressure them. What do the rumors say?

Joseph: They say its Kobra.

Bruce: So, guess the cult leader needs money....

Damian: Oh not that loser again?

Bruce: And where are you going?

Damian: Grayson is taking us out to lunch.

Bruce looks at Dick.

Dick: You told me he was grounded for the night, not the day.

Bruce: Fine. But stay in contact.

Damian: Don't worry, Father; Grayson and I will bring our gear.

Joseph: But what about Sam?

Dick: Huh didn't think of that.

Joseph thinks

Joseph: If any trouble happens, he is to stay in the restaurant. If he doesn't see you back in 30 minutes, he calls me.

Dick: Right. Come on kids.

They leave, Sam and Damian shoving each other. Alfred comes up as they leave.

Alfred: Oh this is going to be lovely....

Joseph: More like a disaster.

Big Belly Burger looks and feels like a 50s diner, more Johnny Rockets' than Dairy Queen. We're talking a long counter with stools, booths with red vinyl seat covers, a mini jukebox at every table, and waitresses and waiters in period clothes. Dick is having a burger and fries while Sam has chicken fingers and fries. Both have chocolate milkshakes. Damian is having a salad and water.

Damian: I can't believe you're eating that. I mean you're gonna get--

Sam gives him a nasty look.

Sam: Remember what Dick said....

Damian: It's disgusting! I'd rather eat snake.

Sam: You ate snake?

Damian: Yep, tastes like chicken. I could get some for you....

Sam: ewww, no.

Damian: You don't want to be a Snake Eater

Sam: No! Snake has got to taste gross.

Damian: Oh so there are things you won't eat!

Sam: Shut up!

Dick: Boys, behave.

Sam: Why did you get a salad?

Damian: Healthiest thing on the menu.

Dick: With buttermilk ranch dressing?

Damian: I'm allowed an indulgence.

Dick and Sam chuckle. Just then, two muscular men who scream "HIRED THUG" in their appearance walk in. Their arms are bared and are covered in tattoos. The wait staff look cowed as they head into the back. As they pass, Dick eyes a tattoo on their arms. His eyes go wide. After they pass, he whispers.

Dick: *whispering* Let me pay the check in advance. Damian, you and I might have to snoop around the back.

Damian: *whispering* What is it?

Dick: *whispering* They had Kobra tattoos. Sam, you...

Sam: *whispering* I know, stay put.

Dick: *whispering* I'll have this paid to Bruce's account...

Dick and Damian soon head outside the restaurant and head into a back alley to change. A second later, Nightwing and Robin scurry down a vent and look out into the kitchen.

Nightwing:*narrating* Funny, there's an extra set of stairs.

The two heroes slip behind the chefs, one of them bearing a Kobra tat as well, and slip down the stairs into a storage cupboard. Nightwing silently scans with infrared to find footprints heading to a hidden door. He quietly opens it and he and Robin slip in. They are in a darkened hallway

Robin: What is this place?

Nightwing: Some sort of facility. Place is bigger than I thought...must have been built out of the old catacombs.

We see Kobra guards watching from the shadows, practically hissing as the two heroes walk past.

Robin: Nightwing...

Nightwing: I see...stay on--

Light flash as they stand in a massive room, surrounded by Kobra members.

Nightwing: --Guard.

They hear clapping. The crowd parts to let in a massive man wearing an elaborate version of the Kobra outfit. This is Kobra himself. He pulls down his cowl, revealing a bald pate (see Young Justice).

Kobra: Well done, Nightwing; I was wondering why it was taking so long for you heroes to find this place.

Nightwing: Kobra...head's looking shinier than normal. New head wax?

Kobra: Impudent as always. Well....

He snaps his fingers. Two men descend from the rafters. They are lean, yet muscular.

Kobra: ...We can't exactly let you leave.

The men attack in the blink of an eye.. Nightwing and Robin dodge, but it's a close one.

Robin: *narrating* No man can move that fast, not even Father.

Nightwing extends his eskrima sticks  and goes to attack his opponent. The Kobra soldier barely winces at the blows. He goes for another blow and the Kobra thug grabs it.

Nightwing: What the--

The thug closes his eyes and grows and grows until he towers over Nightwing. Robin stares as his opponent does the same.

Kobra: I call it "The Kobra's Hood", and you are our...beta testers.

The two thugs proceed to beat the tar out of Nightwing and Robin. They fall unconscious. One of the Kobra hoods goes for a kill blow....

Kobra: STOP! Detain them.

A henchman approaches Kobra as the two thugs drag Nightwing and Robin away.

Kobra Henchman: Sir. There is this kid left alone upstairs in the restaurant. He called someone, but we couldn't hear what he said.

Kobra: Well, what are you waiting for? Detain him.

Upstairs, Sam is polishing off a slice of apple pie. He sees the wait staff giving him a look.

Sam: *narrating* I don't like this...I know Dick paid ahead of time so it's not the "Adult Ran Out On Kid" look. It's the "you know too much" look. But why....

He sees the wait staff moving towards him. He pushes back his plate as the waiter approaches. He slowly reaches for his backpack.

Waiter: Sir, we'd like you to come with us.

Sam: My big brother told me to never go anywhere with strangers.

Waiter: Come here you little....

Sam kicks the waiter in the crotch. He ducks under the hands of another waiter and runs.

Waiter: Get him! Before the master finds out.

Sam runs out of the restaurant and out onto the street.

Sam: *narrating* Uh oh, what to do. Joey said he was held up with work.... So is Alfred and Bruce.

Waitress:*off panel* There he is.

Sam: *narrating* Can't stay here. I don't think they want me around for a GOOD reason.

Sam then sees a vent on top of a few boxes.

Sam: *narrating* That'll do, Sam; that'll do.

He climbs the boxes and shoves his backpack into the vent. The wait staff is climbing up after him. He crawls into the vent, only for a waiter to grab his leg.

Waiter: Got you.

Sam kicks the waiter in the face, sending him backwards. The waiters fall down as Sam scampers into the vent. He goes along the vent.

Sam: *narrating* Wow...this vent is going down further than I thought.

He crawls along the vent, he sees the Kobra soldiers marching

Sam: *narrating* Those are Kobra guys, what are they doing here? No time to think about it, gotta find Nightwing and Robin. Hope they're okay...yes, even Robin....

Sam crawls along and spots two Kobra guards talking.

Kobra Guard 1: How are the prisoners?

Kobra Guard 2: Quiet. No doubt they are trying to think of escape.

Kobra Guard 1: It's the Pit for them....

Kobra Guard 2: And the boy?

Kobra Guard 1: In the vents, we are looking for him. So far he's quiet.

Sam: *narrating* Prisoners? Could it be...

Kobra Guard 2: So we sent the Mamba after him.

Sam: *narrating* Mamba?

He hears a slithering sound. He moves fast.

Sam: *narrating* Prison must be this way....

He falls down through a grate and right in front of Nightwing and Robin

Nightwing: Sam?

Sam: No time! They got a snake in the v--

A mechanical monstrosity of a snake pokes its head out the vent. Sam screams. Robin whips out a birdarang from his sleeve and cuts off its head.

Nightwing: You still had a 'rang.

Robin: For guards they were not very thorough. All they did was take my belt. I'm surprised you were able to fit in there, Sam.

Sam frowns. He looks at Nightwing, who gives him a nod. Sam decks a surprised Robin in the face.

Robin: But I didn't say--

Nightwing: You implied.

Sam: Now that that's over....

Sam looks around

Sam: How are we getting out?

TO BE CONTINUED